#been a Day mentally. lol.
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like for something silly and short?
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playlist moment. sometimes you have to be a little mentally ill in order to be ok etc you know the post
#my art#pmd#pmd eos#grovyle#dusknoir#celebi#pmd2#pokemon#it’s been one of those days pass the pokemon mystery dungeon soundtrack to reflect upon life#drew these with my finger also. i dont have the mental energy to draw something proper rn.#but i had visions with this music lol#it happens to me. holding on to anything possible lmao#zagtag
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One of Shadow Milk’s many prop replicas of himself, left behind. Even though the eyes are forever staring straight into the distance… Oddly enough, you still feel like you��re being watched.
But surely, though, it won’t hurt to take it home and touch up the colours, right? :)
#oh. my god chat. do i have a lot to say now#IM LOVE HIM#oh my god#fhis is the only time ur gonna see me say i love shadow milk directly and not his art HAHAHA#FUCCKKKKK#this one rlly has me messed up#ive been sitting on this concept for a long while!!! i just cant rlly nail the vibes that i want for it… but mroe than anything i want to#show him to you guys.. so issok if yall see the flopfail before i learn how to better capture my mental image#oh it’s so possessed. btw. like not even a second of thought has to be put into it#LMAO#physical vessel for the shreds of his essence that managed to avoid being sealed up. it’s not enough of him to do anything crazy…#but just enough to put you on edge :)#golden freddy pose shadow milk (i will be drawing this some day)#his ability to move is really sporadic#sometimes he’ll be right in the middle of attempting to make a gesture and then he’ll collapse mid movement… darn#(kicks him) fuck you#i think he’s….. cute.#haha.#okay#shadow milk cookie#cookie run kingdom#mystuff#cookie run#crk#crk fanart#cookie run fanart#fave#is it egotistical to put a fave tag on MY OWN ART yeah probably BUT U GUYS DONT. GE T. HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS VARIANT#doodled an oc x canon w this concept in class 2day n realized too late someone wuz watching me draw…………… man.#IM AT TAG LIMIT????? FUCK MY LIFEEE I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THAT WAS A THING. BYE LOL!!!!!
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More than just the Demon.
#ffxiv#digital art#zenos yae galvus#venat#endwalker spoilers#will forever be fascinated with this man#look guys look- the literal embodiment of wol's wings of hope LOL (and me going hehe about that and footfalls)#the part of me that adores digging into the nuance of character writing (intentional or otherwise) is just latched onto zenos#and venat-- they cant just give us two characters who get really important 1v1 duels#and ask really important questions#and love the MC and are willing to risk themselves so unconditionally#and have them not live rent free in my brain#--and maybe this tiptoes into the realm of crack theory so beware there will be a lot past here--#but I cant help but think zenos is akin to an oracle or warrior of light but was tempered/corrupted by zodiark#or some strange happenstance of varis (who shares visual traits to golbez before 6.0 ever came out and the dark mana burst)#and carosa (who it seems zenos got his looks from- and he already looks like he has ties to venat and argos like minfillia does)#was he a result of the eternal chess match between the two parties' machinations? or just some strange twist of fate?#another day of him being “emet's successful experiment” (again- intentional or no) making me thonk#theres something so strange about the final days dreams and how dark aspected he is- that his void abilities are more tied to him tbh#yet his mannerisms beyond just what he's been through almost reminds me of light corruption and the uncanny calmness#we see in most beings associated with the light in any significant way and like second phase eden shiva#he almost has all the marks of someone who shouldve already had the echo or blessing of light but for one reason or another#was unable to hear hydaelyns call#of course it doesnt help i mentally associate him with connections to zero and how she was corrupted before she was even born#and durante- who states uncanny ability and connection with light and darkness and yet favors dark magic more#i simply live with the idea that zenos' soul was an eternally faithful companion to wol's and#this time the cardinal sin of separating the pair finally happened to rather dire consequences lmao
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#oc#gabe#thinkin about what gabes canon used to be and how i should keep it for an au#im still alive not that anyone missed me lol#ive been playing lots of shadow of the erdtree#and am off to a little trip for the rest of the week#sanity and mental health? in free fall for sure girlies#ive been in this art slump for 9 months already bwehhh#everythings just kind of terrible lately isnt it#hope anyone reading this is having a wonderful day#hoping august is a better month so i get out of this one drawing a month cycle#i have bobbies to draw and this snail pace is not working for me
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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
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....I just wanted to draw gators :T at this point these 2 are more 'a representation of my last 2 brain cells' then they are actual characters 😅
#im living vicariously through the cartoon guys#because i want to A. pick up gator (strong man style)#and B. ..pick up gator (hug)#ok but so i recently found out an area where i take stupid little walks for my stupid little mental health#has! GATORS!! (potentially. theres signs.)#and this is great cause seeing gators would def heal me as a person#but ok so when i look for hiking places i always look north cause the terrains more hilly#but now im lookin south more cause turns out i AM in fact far enough south to see gators!!#and yeah looks like theres a handful of nature reserves w hiking trails the same distance away as the little mountain trails i go to#its flatter and the trails are less extensive so ill hafta see if i think its worth it#but then too theres a really big black water swamp that.. further away then i wanna drive..#but also i drove 5 hrs once just to go to mammoth cave as a day trip so.. we'll see..#my friend says he wont go w me tho :T he'll just report me missing#this has been a tag ramble about my sudden outset intrest in seeing a gator#my bullshit#lol barely but still#also- i told myself not to over do it drawin the scales or coloring it#and as you can see i dont listen to myself ever#lol they look outta place but idc i got to draw 2 of my favorite characters and also ALLIGATORS :U#living the dream rn
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Unexpected feelings received from my lady jane. When Jane tells Guildford that there's no cure to Ethianism and there shouldn't be because there's nothing wrong with him and she wants everyone else in England to see that and has the power to "heal England" but Guildford responds with "Fuck England. Heal me!" As someone who struggles with chronic pain and internalized ableism, that really got me. Like there's stuff happening to me that takes me away from the life that I would ideally like to live and there's nothing I can do to change it but the desperation and grief and rage is so fucking real...I just didn't expect those feelings from a fantasy regency tudor rom com.
#guildford dudley#jane grey#my lady jane#internalized ableism#ethianism isn't an affliction clearly in the show but for guildford it specifically limits his quality of life in a very physical way#he literally is stuck as a horse for most of the day#unlike all the other ethians#who deal with more of the socioeconomic limitations of being ethian#didnt expect to kin a rich white man but as someone who's daily life has been limited due my mental/physical disability it hit#the sinking realization that your pain can only be managed and not cured is so fucked yall lol
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i didnt read the last chapters since i discovered it was the end (but i was spoiled by tumblr lol)... i didnt want to believe it... i want to still look forward to new chapters of No Home :(
For the last few years eunyung and haejoon have been my companions. I healed a little while following the story of eunyung, feeling like its ok to be angry and wanting revenge on your family and the society that continues to want to keep you in a "house" where you are mistreated. How the world isnt made for children at all, the absolute unfairness of it all. That you can choose to keep going, and if you do so its ok to keep your distance with what hurts you.
I healed too with haejoon, who came to terms with the fact that he will always be overcome with sadness and grief from time to time, and when that happens he can only let himself feel and wait for it to pass, and try to look forward to the next day.
Honestly this manwha was the best ever. I couldnt read this manhwa as a form of escapism because it was too real. It pulled strings in my heart i didnt know i had, made me question a lot of things about myself, about others, about my relationship with others. It made me have painful discussion with a few people. Following this manhwa, most of the time, was really unpleasant lol. I hated then loved eunyoung, I liked and then disliked haejoon (yeah sorry haejoon, i think you can be really cruel and stupid and i wanted to strangle you a few times in the last arcs (i would NOT be friend with that guy lol) -thats why this character is so amazing). But i felt so much while reading it i wouldnt trade it for anything. It was funny, it was dumb, it was deep, it was enraging and healing, but most of all it was sincere. The most sincere depiction of what being a person in a deeply flawed society is, and how there's happiness even while surviving.
It was so frustrating to see the manhwa go in a direction i didnt want it to go ! I wanted it to become my cozy refuge, where every problems are magically solved, where haejoon and eunyung ends up understanding and loving each other in a cliché way, where theres a new home with my *fave charas* and its a series of feel-good interactions. Instead the problems kept pilling up, most of them didnt have a satisfactory conclusion, eunyung and haejoon kept hurting each other and distancing themselves. Haejoon just cut contact with his father without knowing what were his nefarious motives or without this guy facing any consequences, we dont know if eunyung's parents will keep bothering eunyung unchecked, we dont know if they're going to be happy and rich, or if, realistically, as orphans without generational wealth and deep traumas, they're going to end up in a shitty life situation.
And i couldnt thank wanan enough for this. They didnt take the easy way, the feel-good way, the way that would have given them a probably bigger fandom so a bigger source of money. I'm amazed by how they managed to hold this whole story so perfectly. Not a single misstep. Everything they draw was where it should have been, every action from the characters were understandable (and frustrating lol), the fucking subtlety of the developing relationships, no deus ex machina and no miserabilism. I didnt always agree with wanan's ethic or what i perceived of it (i think stealing or being violent is ok depending on the context, i dont think working hard to earn money is a virtue) but i respect how they choose to present it. I didnt talk about the other characters because honestly they didnt move me as much (except marie), but i love them so much too. I felt sad that eunyung and haejoon didnt become best friend 5ever (or even lovers hehe) but honestly, understandable lol. If i was one of them i WOULDNT become close with the other at all, so its kinda amazing they could still find this level of mutual understanding.
In short, wanan is an amazing story teller.
And an amazing image-composist (have no idea how to say this in english). The artstyle doesnt look like much, but this gave wanan a wide graphic range to convey emotions that wouldnt have been possible with a more sophisticated style i think -how will i forget the red swirlings mixing with eunyung skin ? The expressions, the choice of colors, the choice in showing something in particular without giving a clear explanation on why (often haejoon's surprised or contemplative face, which made me re-read chapters a few times to try to understand what was happening in his big head). It didnt feel like wanan thought their readers were stupid, nor did they play the fake-deep style. It was perfectly balanced.
And so even if i didnt read it, i have no doubt the end will be the same. Im so sad they decided to end this manhwa, but i know prolonging it would have been greedy and that ultimately, the manhwa would have suffer for it. Some authors do that : they have a popular series going on, and for whatever reason they keep writing new chapters without a clear goal and so the story becomes diluted, messy, useless. I love when they do this, because i can say goodbye to a story progressively as my interest in it wans, without feeling sadness or loss. But it makes me not think of the story at all in the future, since everything that was good about it became buried in new shitty chapters. Because wanan didnt do that, i know that i would think of no home for a long while, maybe forever,
,like i really lost companions when no home ended actually. Because it really, really hurts, knowing i wont be seeing new faces of the no home characters anymore. I know it sounds probably stupid ; i feel genuine grief here lol. I want to know what will happen to them, if they are alright, if they found a place in the world... if there is something to look forward after all, and i really dread not having answers every monday anymore. and the fandom is so small i cant comfort myself by re-entering the no home world every week or whatever... does anyone else feel this way ToT ? maybe i should participate myself but well,, i wouldnt know where to begin...
And saying that ! I'm almost never on this blog, i dont really have socmed accounts, i dont participate in fandoms at all. But I spent a looot of time reading and watching people who does -without being connected or interacting with posts or fanfics at all. AND i really want to thank you all for giving me so much material to chew, posts that made me think, fics that made me smile, drawings that inspired me, witnessing interactions that made me laugh. I was and i probably will continue to be a ghost on socmed, but i really want you to know that you had an impact on me and i was looking forward to your new posts (and will continue to!).
the "every no home chapter is a test of my willingness to Not blow my own brains out" and explosion eunhae monday of @skiptoyuri
the regular nohome posters which makes me happy to check tumblr regularly @shimamitsulover @lesbianpegbar @luckyswamps @tomoyoo @cloudbends @t0a2ter @solcarow @dragon-of-timeless-blue
the awesome artists who keep producing bangers nohome art @gohaejoon @maxsolosur @jjd5426 @bnnuycafe @ct-bunny @lentl-soup @fartaycat @jjd5426 @prokkoli @moxymaxing @ginangtan
the nohome posters that i enjoyed running into @pleuvoire @homolobotomized @podoro-vines @fmet @welpuu @revertrate @obstinaterixatrix @kulluto
the artists that made me interested in checking no home @cienfll @craysmo @ant-eaters @idledee @fruiitlins @froqpi-art @201918b @tinfishmeal @ohrsoh @30mingirlfriend
thanks @ditherslam for the awesome fanfics, obviously i read them all and they're some of my favourites. youre an amazing writer and i cant wait for the next chap of "your atoms"!!
thanks @homeless202 for being an insatiable nohome poster for a while (and @grannykombucha !)
im forgetting a lot of others but i really wanted to thank you all for your time, energy, work. i never interacted with your posts or with you but i really want to convey how cool it is that you all contribute to make no home a more well-known manhwa and the fandom alive
thank youuuu (hope the @ are ok tell me if its bothersome ill delete it)
and really, really, thank you wanan ! waaaa i want to cry
#no home wanan#no home#no home manhwa#kind of strange wanan wil never know how muvh their story mean to me and probably lot of others they'll never meet#im really rambling but it felt strange to not post anything while ive been luring in this fandom for so many years#and thought about no home a few hours every day at least#it feels like a goodbye letter but i really know ill still think about no home for years to come lol#i kinda want wanan to make omake with the chara being silly and happy...#i want to know if eunyung and haejoon stay close T.T#please dont let time and distance make you apathetic#will eunyung inherit his father debts??#i have no idea how it works in south korea#i hope he finds a way to really have no ties with bis family anymore#and so nothing will come bite him in the ass in the future#haejoon being a model student and what is expected of society and having his uncle i guess hes one step ahead#well#except the mental illnesses#but eunyung i worry so much about him#please be happy in the future T.T#ah i should made another post its too much tags
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♡♡♡
#*pokes my head in* hi#I'm taking a hiatus from my main on Twitter#I guess I'm only kinda taking one here? not sure yet#Tumblr has always been a safe and welcoming place for me for the most part so I'm trying to be a little more open here ♡ ;w;#so to anyone reading these tags#I've been going through a very rough patch in terms of fandom/personal life/XIV Twitter/the wolgraha sphere in general#Mainly my perception on social media#but since I started my hiatus from public twitter I've been doing SO much better mentally#been writing and gposing every day and it feels nice to create again#creating for myself and my own very specific tastes feels good so I will keep doing that! :)#so here you go! some bathtime AedRaha#I'm very in love with AedRaha and always will be#thank you for reading these tags if you did <3 sorry if I was a bit vague lol I've had a lot going on lately#wolgraha#wol x g'raha tia#aedric vaillencourt#elezen#gpose#my poses#g'raha tia#AedRaha
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last night I got robbed while sitting in the car in a parking lot and I ended up with a bloody/swollen lip during the struggle 😔
all things considered I'm very lucky to have gotten away with just that but I keep thinking about how stupid I was. like I know better to a degree bc I wear my bag while I'm driving but. still
#khytal.ks#I'm the most upset about losing my car keys (I was driving a different car)#it had a memento from an old friend and now that's gone forever :(#anyway my whole face hurts and I was so stressed I didn't sleep well last night#I've been laying in bed all day I just don't feel well mentally and physically#I mean what matters is that I'm still alive but I feel like shit lol
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Conner and bizarro finally meet
on a random lonely day in the Kansas country side, Conner is rocking in a rocking chair reading a book lex got him. it's a big fat comic collection about this guy who works with the FDA for some reason and he's honestly just enthralled. there's a whoosh sound and suddenly Jason and bizarro appear, Jason has his arm over the shoulder of bizarro as he waves over to Conner. Conner is pretty confused who the other guy is.
Conner: hi Jason, who's with you?
Jason: oh this is bizarro, he's kind of my son.
Conner: since when?
Jason: since ages, lex basically was going to kill him but we accidentally broke him out of his containment. long story short he's here he's my son.
bizarro: *waves* bye! I'm bizarro
Conner: hi bizarro
Jason: don't mind him he's words are a bit backwards, something about the programming didn't quite work. all negative verbs and such are positives and all positives are negatives. we are working on it right buddy?
bizarro: I'm resting on it!
Jason: speech therapy is hard, he's perfectly normal he just has some mixed up brain functions. lex actually managed to reverse alot of the degenerative disease problems, so you know bizarro is just struggling with a few things. he's doing way better than before though right buddy?
bizarro: I'm not fine, I'm doing bad! red is doing a bad job
Jason: aw, thanks. I try, we really have to work on the negative verbs, but it's fine we can try again later. anyway I wanted you to meet your brother bizarro!
Conner: *holds out hand* nice to meet you bizarro, what do you like to do?
bizarro: I hate… reading books and watching movies, it’s not fun.
Conner: oh! I love reading books, I have some if you want one.
bizarro: I’m not interested, I hate reading. No thanks!
Conner: wait here I’ll go get one!
Conner runs into the house to go grab some books, he didn’t really know he had a brother but this was kinda cool. Even if it came out of nowhere.
Conner: I have.. Julia Gillard’s cookbook, pride and prejudice, moby dick, and.. bionicules? Honestly I don’t think I’ll read them again so you can have them, my gift!
Bizarro looks at Conner and smiles, he takes the books and starts reading them on the floor of the patio.
Jason: I know I should have called you, but we never have the chance to meet up.
Conner: it’s fine, honestly. I was just reading some comics, been a long week. Just wanted to soak up some sun, since Lex was nagging me about it.
Jason: Lex??
Conner: oh I didn’t tell you, yeah we are kinda trying to fix things between us. I think it has something to do with the whole kryptonite induced cancer, thing. He surprisingly actually does not mean any harm to me, it's so weird.
Jason: damn, even Lex of all people is trying to mend his relationships. Never thought I’d see the day.
Conner: oh it was weird, he came up to the house and actually apologised to me. Lex. APOLOGISED
Jason: NO WAY, I don’t believe you *crosses arms*
Connor: I wish I had it on tape, but no he did. It was so weird, then he told me he actually was pregnant with me.
Jason: wait… *murmurs* when would that have been.
Conner: oh a couple years ago as I’m about 4-5 now.
Jason: oh yeah he did basically disappear for a whole year one year, kinda thought he had some sort of horrible injury or assassin on his tail. Didn’t really think he was having you?
Connor: honestly I would not know, because again didn’t exist yet.
Jason: that’s actually around the time bizarro was made actually, well a year or 2 beforehand.
Connor: yeah makes sense, wait. bizarro is older than me?
bizarro: I'm younger than other superman.
Connor: true I do think your older than me, does lex keep saying anything about dissolving DNA to you guys?
Jason: on yeah that's what originally happened to biz over here, right buddy?
bizarro: me DNA re- reconsti- reconstituted.
Connor: oh damn, that most be why he is motherhen'ing so bad. "you really should be checking for it every 2 weeks" as lex says to me fortnightly now. ugh annoying.
Jason: really? guess I'll take his advice that does unironically sound like a good idea. Connor, well this has been nice. but we have to go or we are going to miss family dinner. see ya
Connor: honestly nice that you dropped by, nice to meet you bizarro!
bizarro: hi other superman!
Connor: you can call me Kon if you like
bizarro: hi Kon!
Connor: see you both enjoy the books! I'm sure bizarro will enjoy them
Jason: oh totally pride and prejudice is my favourite, I was looking for a copy for biz actually it's a wonderful gift, nice seeing you! see you next time for the space pirates?
Connor: always, those fucking space pirates though
bizarro: I love space pirates, they are the best
Connor: lol you're so right, bye guys!!
bizarro + Jason: bye!!!!
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#-pop#bizarro#dc comic#red hood and the outlaws#Jason todd#batfamily#superfam#superboy#superfamily#kon el#connor kent#kon el kent#kon kent#kon el superboy#the comic Connor is reading is Chew lol#also Jason 100% has been doing speech therapy with bizarro he sits down everyday and helps him read things out and pronounce it right#he struggles but he's doing great! he almost dissolved into nothing though.#he's like 5-7 years old give him a break he's a kid#he did become incredibly smart for a period but again he was still like 4-5 mentally a smart 4-5 year old is smart. then his DNA dissolved#he's like Connor they are way way younger than they physically are and don't have the life experience yet#Connor is a mix of comics Connor and young justice tv show#he's just more laidback then hyper or angry he grew out of his baby faze as he was like 6-7 months old when they broke him out of Cadmus#bizarro is chill he's cool. he hangs around Jason literally all day
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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i lost my funny and silly bone guys, i just wanna post jokey posts but i'm honestly being affected really badly by all of the shit going on in this fandom, it's really hard for me to just "ignore" the racist and anti black fans bc it's like every other day i'm learning/seeing that fans are anti black and like i don't know how to actually exist in this fandom with all of this shit happening like i'm not joking when i say my interest has completely decreased bc of it and with the latest shit aka the fans thinking it's normal to go to a fucking plantation and take a white funko pop of a character who was a plantation owner and do a cute lil photoshoot, my interest is like almost at zero.....
part of me feels like i'm being dramatic but lol idk this whole thing cuts too close to the bone, like, my GREAT grandma was born on a plantation in the south this shit is too close to me and for these ppl it's all just joke idk guys tell me if im taking it too seriously
i only started interacting with the fandom like 2 months ago and i'm already so tired this isn't good st all, how is this fandom this terrible for black fans, why can't ppl just be normal :(
#i love iwtv but staying in this fandom doesn't feel worth it#i don't feel like being in this fandom is good for my mental health lol#cant lie i'm already reverting back to my old fandom atm#i've been in a bad state all day#also for anyone confused i'm british american? or whatever idk#me yapping#probably won't be online like i'm genuinely so ?!? upset idk#it's just building in me rn
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two drunk and lonely men; the bitten hand and the sorry mouth that wants him again
erm We're ocxcanon yaoibrained here right (•w•;)
#ranfren#present day problem takeuchi robert#farewellsickle death sickle#sickle art#deathday#<- their ship name lol#context: the first time they met sickle stumbled upon a feral and mentally unstable robert who due to his heightened danger perception saw#sickle as a danger and bit him HARD. near took off all the skin and flesh on his hand. despite this sickle dragged him to his encampment#to care for him and help him regain lucidity#'why would sickle do that' when a man has been living alone in the woods for 12 years he has very very low standards for a companion. we#should just be glad he didnt try rizzing up raccoonmen
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"I've got you."
"No. I got you."
#sniff sniff professor x trained him to have a psychic shield#pry that headcanon out of my cold dead body#the line and the delivery could have been better but i wasnt there for the creative process so i have no right lol#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wolverine#logan howlett#deadpool 3#cassandra nova#emma corrin#deadpool 2024#i immensely enjoy the thought of charles fathering logan by training him to put a mental shield up#because yeah#wolverine's opponents would think he's all slice no technique#logan isn't as precise as wade of course. but he's Precise#i mean goddamn it's wade who didn't have a mental wall against cassandra. not that such a thing was acknowledged.#maybe the day a telepath finds wade's mental wall is the day marvel grows some balls and lets the telepath break the fourth wall too#by association#i expected cassandra to do that highkey#oh well
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